I wrote a blog a few weeks ago titled “Afraid to Fly.” If you haven’t, please take the time to give it a quick glance. In the article I explain how I am paralyzed by the fear of failure. I discuss how I have allowed that fear to control every area of my life for as long as I can remember. That includes starting this blog.
Generally, I told myself that I did not have time to start this blog or that I did not need to develop another creative outlet because I already had so many. In reality, I was really afraid that if I started the blog that no one would read my material. I was worried that people would not like my content or that my writing was not good enough. I was afraid of being judged by people who did not know me or my intentions for the blog but I made my first of many steps of faith and decided to go for it.
One of my very best friends is a graphic designer and I am generally a fan of her work. I called her one day and was like Whitney I am ready to start my blog. This is my year of completion and I am seeing projects from start to finish. I could tell by her tone that she was a little skeptical of my new found “follow through spirit” and told me that I would need to give her all the content for the website, draft several blog post, and pay a deposit before she got started building my website. Y’all, did I mention that she is one of my best friends? Initially, I thought she was being a little harsh but I very quickly realized that I needed to take this process seriously so the first thing I did was to put my money where my mouth is. I paid her to complete the project. I know that if I had money interested in this project that I would take it a little more seriously and I did.
I got her all the information that she needed and she delivered an amazing product but I was still battling with this concept of fear and failure. When I start telling my close friends that the blog was officially coming soon people start asking if there was a launch party planned which I didn’t because you know…. What if I fail, what if the blog fails, what if no one comes to my launch party?
It just so happened that I was launching on my birthday. One of my very dear friends and mentors, Lexie Carter, graciously offered to host me an amazing murder mystery party and would not let it go. I finally said yes a two weeks before my launch and I decided to reveal the blog at the end of the night. Nothing special because again, this thing just might not work out.
Before I launched the blog I did a little research and decided on a good number of visitors I wanted for the first month of my blog. It wasn’t a lofty goal but I that it was a good one. I got some good feedback and early in the month, I did not think I would make it to my target goal. I decided that numbers would not determine the success or failure of my blog and that I would continue to develop meaningful content and that is what I did.
A few days after the one month mark I decided to check my analytics to see where I was and how the blog was doing numbers wise. In one month, my first month I exceeded my initial goal by over 3X’s. I had to call Whitney to make sure I was reviewing the data correctly because I could not believe what I was seeing.
I can’t explain the feeling of years of self-doubt being drowned out by a couple of numbers on a computer screen. Truth be told I am still dealing with and I am still learning how to deal with self-doubt but I am certain that I want to encourage others to just take a leap of faith. To truly trust that you can do all things and that you can manifest the things and the life that you want.
Faith is the crazy belief that things are possible even when they seem improbable. But I challenge anyone who is reading this post that has ideas, dreams, goals or aspirations to put faith over fear and just give it all you got. Write that screenplay, take that class, run for office, apply for that grant, start that business, record that song, whatever it is that you are being called to do in this season I encourage you to go for it. Remove the fear just long enough to do it and who knows you just might surpass your own expectations.